Saturday, May 09, 2009


Hello out there! I miss you.

Lately the world has been shrinking and expanding, shrinking and expanding at such alarming speed, I can’t seem to keep up. Change is being hurled at me like some sort of existential dodge ball game and I feel like the fat kid with coke bottle glasses who can’t move quickly enough to avoid the onslaught.

Life has me caught in its’ cross hairs.

My back has been out which made my trip to Boston a challenge. I was taking a slightly watered down version of the Heath Ledger cocktail, which didn’t ease the pain at all, but it made me not give a shit.

I played with my 4 and 2 year old niece and nephew and I’m not sure if I was having booze and drug induced hallucinations or if I really did play tag and hide and go seek with them hiding naked in the sofa, their two adorable bare asses sticking out from the cushions. Must have been the drugs.

In case I don’t write about the trip, I need to say that Wendy took me and she was on duty 24 hours a day, affording me the energy to hang with Jason, Allison and the kids. My friends are the main reason my life has been so good up until now. Without them, I shudder to imagine how much ALS would suck.

We interrupt this blog for a Berkeley story: Mayra and I were at the pool and this women says to her “The truth in me honors your service” Or I think that’s what she said, it might have been “The racist in me sees you are Mexican.” I love Berkeley.

My nephew has the sweetest disposition but he uses the language of an evil mastermind. His sister wanted his new pony toy and he kept appealing to her by saying over and over “But it’s mine all mine!”

I feel like my disability has finally eclipsed my sexiness, which utterly sucks since I’m the most cuteboy-crazy woman I know. Men now look at me with a sad, pitying face and it feels like lemon juice on a paper cut to get that look. Please don’t write encouraging comments to this paragraph about how I’m still pretty. Anything short of a raging hard-on will feel like a patronizing response.

ALS has its’ own rubber bracelet, It’s red and says “Never Give Up” which I hope is targeted to the researchers and not the patients who are perfectly justified in giving up when the time is right. Mac and I ordered our own bracelets. They just say “Give Up.” Mac says when someone asks him about it he’ll say “You know, for ALS.”

I also want to make a bracelet in honor of Iowa, Vermont, Maine, New Hampshire and all the other gay-loving states that says "Suck on this, Rick Warren." I am thrilled to think I might be alive when ALL the United States honor the civil rights of gay people.

Mac is now 17 and finishing his sophomore year of college. He'll be going to UCSD in the fall as a Junior and I will be alone for the first time in 23 years. I’m thrilled for him and terrified for me.

By the way, I finished making ALS Barbie. Stay tuned for her commercial.


Anonymous said...

never a dull moment
the life you lead is a like a lead pencil
your woman-hood sharp, steely, articulate, honest, vulnerable

i want my lead to be as good...

Anonymous said...

*raging hard-on*

Anonymous said...

Two things:

You certainly could give me a full hard-on.

You energy is never alone. There are probably hundreds of us thinking of you and co-mingling our energy with yours. BUT I do know what you really mean.


Laura D said...

Dear Carla - I just wanted to let you know I have a raging hard-on. You still got it. I don't even have a weiner and I have a raging hard-on. No patronizing here.

So good to hear from you. I enjoyed your Boston pics. I hope to see you soon.

Love and XOXO and a hard-on,

Laura D (I am omitting part of my last name since I have admitted to a raging hard-on on the internet, and don't want it to come back to me on my next job interview, etc.).

Anonymous said...

Dodgeball seems to be a theme, Auntie Carla. Remember when the kids were throwing balloons to you (mostly in your face) and you said, "This feels like dodgeball!"
Yes, my dear, you were playing tag and hide-and-go-seek (using placemats as hiding places). I saw it with my own 2 eyebrow-less eyes. You were amazing to come visit us. I love you so.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sweet Girl,

Had a wonderful letter from your Mom this morning recounting her trip this past weekend. It was/is a very special letter where she talked about your beauty, her time with Mac, and your amazing friends. Please know that I am very serious about being Mac's contact here, my guest room will always be ready if he needs a quiet place to study or just wants to hang out.

Love, Pat

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

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