Monday, October 27, 2008

Top Ten Ways to Feel Better after a Shitty Month

I'm too wiped to write a blog today but this is from yesterday. i am also including a poem and an announcement: Jeannine proposes a "My Favorite Things Lyric Contest" in response to my last post. I'll post her entry as soon as she gives me the green light - it's awesome.

here's the other 2 things.

Top Ten Ways to Feel Better after a Shitty Month:

1) Plan a cool Halloween costume. Consider dressing up as Larry Flynt, George Wallace or “Wheelchair-dude-Joe-Biden-told-to-stand-up-and-take-a-bow.”
2) Tattoo “out of order” signs on your feet.
3) Wheel around in nature.
4) Get a super cool cape or a poncho so that when it gets cold, Mac doesn’t have to button your coat for you.
5) Watch debate footage of John McCain wandering around like Grandad in his slippers with his robe hanging open. Do this repeatedly whenever you’re blue. Email the link to Republicans.
6) Dress like a mermaid and tell people you only need a wheelchair when you’re on land.
7) Go someplace by yourself.
8) Skip town.
9) Make a youtube video.
10) Carry a sign with you when you go to Marin that says “ You lose!” and hold it up to those rare cars with McCain/Palin bumper stickers. Don’t forget shit-eating grin.

The Patience of Ordinary Things

by Pat Schneider

It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea,
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,
How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes
Or toes. How soles of feet know
Where they're supposed to be.
I've been thinking about the patience
Of ordinary things, how clothes
Wait respectfully in closets
And soap dries quietly in the dish,
And towels drink the wet
From the skin of the back.
And the lovely repetition of stairs.
And what is more generous than a window?

"The Patience of Ordinary Things" by Pat Schneider from Another River: New and Selected Poems.


Anonymous said...

Wow! I'm crushed by envy wishing I had written that poem. That is the perfect poem.

I love the idea of the mermaid costume. Like Bette Midler's Dolores Delago (The toast of Chicago)

Anonymous said...

I just woke up from a dream with you in it. I dreamt that a very hunky vampire was chasing you, but you turned the tables and seduced him. He was so impressed that he turned you into one. You were regailing the story to me after some class, and were showing off all of your cool new powers. So keep your eye out for a vampy, it could be the answer to all our prayers.