Saturday, March 13, 2010

Happy Birthday Kaila

In the late 1990's, I was driving to work and listening to the radio when a haunting and compelling artist was introduced to me. Her music affected me so much that I pulled off the highway to write down her name. After work I drove straight to Down Home Records and bought Kaila Flexer-Third Ear. Little did I know that ten years later this amazing composer and violinist would be one of my best friends and one of a small handful of people who would dedicate time every week without fail to the grunt work of helping me out. I don't know anyone with more responsibilities than Kaila and yet she has made it a priority to be there for me for all the tough stuff - overnights with coughing and suctioning machines malfunctioning, getting me ready to go onstage while I howl and sob like a wounded animal, ruining my make-up in the process and taking me out for dinner and having to feed us both.

Kaila balances her performing career and her teaching career with raising the most remarkable ten year old daughter, Lucy. Kaila 's ex is a touring musician so while she is not really a single mom, her life often looks like she is one. How she manages to find time each week for me is anybody's guess

Kaila has written not one but three beautiful pieces of music for me. One of them is posted after this blog and if you like what you hear, go to www. There are so many legitimate reasons people have for not carving out time in a busy life to help a sick friend and Kaila could use almost all of them but instead she chooses the tougher road. But this is not why I love her. I love her passion and her indefatigable romantic spirit. I love her irritating perfectionism and her unwavering artist integrity. I am stirred by her moral outrage and wickedly amused by her lady like sensibilities that I disturb on a regular basis. Kaila is an amazing mother and the fierceness of her love has paid off. Her daughter is a strong, independent, creative and hilarious kid whose visits beam a floodlight of joy onto my day. But Kaila is not just mother to Lucy, she is maternal to friends in need too. She is the kind of friend who will drive you to the airport, fix you the perfect snack or move heaven and earth to help you in your performing career. She is also unusually beautiful. When Kaila plays music this fiery passion consumes her so even straight women thinks she 's hot.

I like to tease Kaila about how easily she cries (we're talkin' so so easy) but truth be told I envy her overflow of compassion I am moved by the way she feels so deeply on someone else's behalf.

So here's to my beautiful crazy brilliant loving friend. Happy Birthday Special K! I love you. .


Anonymous said...

if only good friends were a stone's throw away for everyone this world would be a better place for sure. you have been cursed with ALS, and at the same time, blessed with so much love and the help of caring people in your life. i am so thankful for your words, and for the fact that you cope, love, write, and create a beloved circle around yourself. you are a truly gifted woman who has given me much insight into life. thank you from the bottom of my heart...

Anonymous said...

Indeed! Happy Birthday Kaila!


(I love the story of how you two connected through such beautiful music.....)

Anonymous said...

Carla, thanks for sharing this wonderful gift from Kaila. It's fun, energetic, heart felt, and so you!
--a teary eyed Linda.

Alison said...

What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman--outside and in, music and body and soul. Happy birthday, Kaila!!