Mary Oliver says:
"when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?"
I always loved this poem because like all poems about death it's really about life. Maybe dying is a way of teaching us how to live, if we're lucky enough to die slowly to get the message in time. Maybe as I lose, piece by piece my ability to do the things I have taken for granted I'll see what a miracle it is to run, walk, hold and yes, to breathe.
She goes on to say:
"When it's over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world"
Yes, yes, yes Mary Oliver.
Funny how these themes have been so important to me for the last 2-3 years. I thought I was mourning the death of a long marriage and preparing myself for the birth of a new life but maybe I knew this day was coming and I wanted to be ready for it.