Sunday, August 03, 2008

Give me excess of it

If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it.....

Shakespeare

Singing is the greatest thing in the world. Whether it’s in a club in front of an audience, walking or wheeling down the street and realizing your singing really too loud to not look weird or making music in the studio with three awesome musicians. I was back in the studio with John R. Burr, Jon Evans and David Rokeach last week. They are all superb on their instruments and the chemistry between the three of them is fantastic. We recorded my original tunes – 8 in total – over two days then Jon and I started on the vocals. I can’t think of anything more enjoyable to do. We shifted effortlessly from girl-pop to jazz to alternative rock and from blowjob jokes (one of the three musicians asked his girlfriend “You know what’s really fun to do in the car?” to which she answered “What and fun for whom?” ) to a poignant discussion ( and subsequent tears) about a song I wrote for Mac which ended with John R asking me “are you huggable?” I love those guys. The studio is ADA hostile so wheelchairs are out of the question. It’s humbling to have to get guys to take you to the bathroom, to help you onto a chair, to hear them say “who’s got her?” etc but it is what it is. I am now finding it tough to walk around my apartment, to lift a bottle to my mouth without tipping it all over me, to lift my little teapot ( which actually is short and stout) when it’s full. It takes a few tries to pick up coins. Door handles are my nemesis.

And yet.

There is music. I can sing in my much diminished voice. I can laugh until I cry. I am surrounded by women ( and men) who inspire me and fill me with light. I spent last week doing EXACTLY what I love to do – what I always wanted to spend all my time doing. I get met with kindness and compassion and encouragement every single day. I wheel down the street in the sunshine in this great neighborhood and I think “this is it baby, it’s not getting any better than this moment” and I notice I’m singing really too loud.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't sing but,
I am going to save this, print it and frame it and prominently display it on my wall for me (my kids, my friends, strangers) to see and read forever and ever.
I must remember; this is it, this is it, this is it.

xo susan P.

Anonymous said...

keep singing
a song is forever
your song is forever
keep singing...

Gail Hildebrandt said...

I have always wished I could sing. Oh, I was in the choir at school and loved to sing around the campfire, but I truly envied those persons who could really entertain with their voice. I heard a woman sing Danny Boy once (and how many times have I heard that song) and she just brought tears. If only I could sing like that, but I have to try and make my life sing in other ways. You seem to have cornered this market, you can do two of the most important things in life - you can sing and you can make people laugh. How wonderful is that.

twodognite said...

My hat (even though I never wear one!) and my heart go out to you. You're an inspiration. I'm Jeannine's friend (the nurse and shoe expert). Tell me a size (or approximate size) and give me an idea of what you're looking for and I may be able to help! I don't call myself E-melda (e-melda's_closet) on Ebay for nothing.

It sounds like this nasty disease is coming at you fast and furious and robbing you of motor function at an alarming rate? Are there any other treatments they can try besides lithium? I hope you are not in pain (physical).
ELZ

Anonymous said...

I'm going to stroll up this lovely trail, in the shadow of Taos mountain,filled with birdsong and wildflowers, arm in arm with AP, and hear you singing. Sing on! Loud!
Love,
Lisa

Anonymous said...

People keep saying "you must be proud of your daughter" So I say to myself "why would I be". Is it because she was so much fun as a child. Thoughtful,playful and helpful. Well is it because she was so dependable and loving as she got older. Is it because she was bright, beautiful and talented as she went to University. Is it because she worked so hard at university and was so successful and developed her enormous creative talents. Is it because as she became an adult she continued to "show" me she loved me.Is it because she is a wonderful daughter, mother and friend. Is it because she cares for those who are in need. Is it because she cared and loved her students. Is it because when not enough hours were available for all teachers she gave up some of hers to allow others to continue to receive a pay check. Is it because she says I have a fatal illness but I'm going to make the most of my time. Is it because people who follow her blog say you have changed my life for the better, I dont know you but I love you. Is it because I have loved her fiercly from the moment she was born. hmmm I quess I have reasons to be proud of her.
I love you DAD

Carla Zilbersmith said...

i love you dad.

Anonymous said...

Carla and Carla's Dad,
You are both most huggable! I cry reading this. Wish we could take days from our lives to give to you..... Thank you for living life wide open!!!

Anonymous said...

I miss the photo of you showing all your beauty. The new one has the microphone smack in the middle of your face. We can hardly see you. Maybey one of your friends can take a better picture of you performing?

Anonymous said...

i concur about the photo - loved that one of you on/in front of the stairs!